Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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