well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Randomize
