Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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