About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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