But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I want to have your abortion
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
