i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize