Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
