garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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