Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
