We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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