doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
