and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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