it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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