No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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