White coat. Heels.
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
