and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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