well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
