We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
