Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
