You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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