i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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