and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
