Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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