similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
