i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
