He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
