i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
