apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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