wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
