Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
