ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She said her name was "party"
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
