We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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