I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
