How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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