We need to rekindle our bromance
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
