WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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