I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
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