Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
