I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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