she was so not down for the gang bang
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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