you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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