idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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