Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
