i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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