Only a mothe r could love this liver
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
