Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
