he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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