i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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