Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
