we made out on top of his cat.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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