U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
