its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
