Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
