Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
